Knowing When to Say When

This whole new adventure begins with a decision.  We have friends and former colleagues who assured us that we would know when it was time to retire.  I looked for the signs but since I tend to live at the speed of light, I probably missed them like I do the speed limit signs that get me into a little trouble from time to time.

In my younger years, I was known to throw back a few drinks.  On occasion, I overdid it and regretted it the next day because hangovers aren't my friend.  I learned along the way that after a few drinks if I tapped myself on the forehead and it was feeling a little numb, that meant I had hit my limit.  Ok, I realize that isn't very scientific, but it worked for me! 

Neither one of these approaches was very helpful in making "the decision".  For years, when people would ask when we were going to retire I always said it would be when Donnie said so.  I battle with an addiction to the job and I just knew that he would be dragging me out when it was time.  I pictured him as my bartender saying "Lisa, this is your last one.  You've had enough".  Two problems were inherent in my thinking.  First, I worked as a bartender some years back and when you try to cut someone off, they tend to get angry with you.  I don't believe going into retirement alongside someone you are angry with is a good start.  Plus, people who know me personally can attest to the fact that I'm not easily told what to do by anyone (a bit of anti-establishment backlash kicks in - ironic since I am a school administrator!).

So instead, I reminded myself I've always been a "rip the bandaid off" kind of gal so early this year, I went ahead and decided for myself.  I tapped my forehead and thought "yep, this will be my last one".  Funny thing is for months I have been waiting around for Donnie to decide if he is retiring too.  It became my personal definition of purgatory.

When I announced it early in the school year people wondered why I didn't wait until later.  My only answer to that is I kept thinking how much I enjoyed every bit of birthing and raising my youngest child because I knew he was going to be the last.  With the last one, you don't tend to fuss over little stuff; you recognize what is important and you savor the moments.  That is how I wanted to spend this last year!